· Personal Reflections

Earlier today, I published a short rant that included several examples of things that haven’t gone over well with me lately. I’ve since deleted that article because it was just too negative, even downright gripy. It just isn’t the sort of material I wish to publish here. The truth is, I’m really irritated at present over a married woman who is currently making a play for me. It isn’t that I want anything to do with her. It’s that I’m seriously pissed off at her (pardon the French). Rather than making a rant, I thought this would be a good time to expound upon some of my rather controversial ideas on marriage, cheating, and divorce.

To me, loyalty is paramount, especially in marriage. I’ve said a number of times in my articles that I’m a one-girl guy, even in dating. And while I will accept and tolerate others who do not hold those beliefs, I have no respect for them. I understand that cheating and having affairs are a common, even expected, way of life in America today, as evident by the success of websites like Today, it’s cheap and easy to say a ‘vow’ because we know it’s all too easy to break it. But that isn’t me. It will never be me.

I don’t believe that marriage (and by extension, dating) should ever be taken lightly. To me, it’s a decision of a lifetime. As a Christian, I’ve had quite a few discussions about one-time marriages, and to be perfectly honest, nearly everyone, including my family, disagrees with my views. Christ describes the allowance for divorce as only infidelity (Mt 5.32, others). Most people assume that divorce automatically makes a person single and eligible for remarriage, but that’s a poor assumption. I believe remarriage after divorce is not allowed, except to the original spouse. Christ allows divorce, but I believe that divorce demands subsequent celibacy, at least until the spouse dies (I Co 7.39). I have a great deal of respect for Charles Stanley because of how he has handled his broken marriage, even though many Christians criticize him for it. There are times when divorce is completely in the hands of one partner, and the other can do nothing. I do not believe God will judge us for something that is out of our hands, but rather upon how we hold to our vow, ’til death do us part.’ A lot of Christians, especially divorcees, seriously disagree with me on this because it would make them ineligible for remarriage, which is something they refuse to accept. I can respect their beliefs, as I have many friends and family who are remarried. But for me, I will marry only once.

Beyond divorce, infidelity is usually considered to be wrong by most. But it’s less wrong now than it was when I was a child. Nobody is surprised by infidelity these days, and many actively and openly seek it. Unfortunately, I, as an adult man, am often targeted by women my age and a bit younger who married at an early age and are now bored with their marriage. I’ve lost track of the number of women who have made a play for me who were either married or in a relationship. It makes me feel cheap. It makes me feel used. It makes me feel like I’m not worth marrying, just as an indulgence on the side. There isn’t even any of my dark, deviant side that finds pleasure in the idea. It’s just repulsive to me in every way, yet I get it shoved in my face more and more.

It disgusts me, and that’s what I’m feeling right now over this woman. Today, I would like to encourage my readers to steer away from infidelity and embrace the spouse you vowed to love and hold. But for those who refuse, I would like to be clear to the women in marriages and relationships that not all men are just out to get sex. Making illicit advances on these guy isn’t cute or thrilling. It’s disturbing and stressful, as what I’m going though right now. It isn’t welcome, it isn’t wanted. Please keep your tits to yourself.

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